So, as I was saying last week, the words we say truly matter to children. And, we can help build our children up through those words or, unfortunately, tear them down. Bet you know how I’m choosing to use my words when dealing with children.
I mean . . . please remove me in working with children on any kind of level, if I choose my words to tear children down. Please! As a matter of fact, can we just remove anyone in a teaching profession who does so? Please?
It’s always been hard for me to understand how educators can work with children but actually dislike doing so. And then, I’m wondering how do we get so desperate for headcount that we can just accept any and everybody in roles that directly influence our children with no credible vetting system to hold individuals to the highest of standards in evaluating a person’s suitability for educating youth.
And, please don’t get me started on parents (educators without the formal titles) who are getting depressingly low marks on affecting their children in a positive manner through the words they spew out at them. No, I better keep the discussion on the educator groups with the formal titles, for now.
But, I do want to say that, regardless of your educator role — formal or informal — both have the obligation to help, not hurt our up-and-coming generations. Even in correction and admonition, there’s effective verbal wordsmithing to help children along a path that positively propels them forward in life (not hinders them).
I made a statement in the last blog post from Adventures in Tutoring Daily Challenge – Day 4, stating that . . .
“Young and impressionable minds are so precious. They are moldable and mendable and rely on guidance from the adults they trust. That’s why it’s so incredibly difficult for me to understand how adults can tarnish the trust children have in them by verbally abusing them — using their words to tear children down.”
But, I forgot to mention the other side of things. There are some children, especially the little little ones, whose trust in adults doesn’t wane or get tarnished. That trust holds fast and stays so incredibly pure. Children can trust completely, putting their innocence in the hands of those who abuse them. Oh, this saddens me to my core!
And, I’m really not aiming to be a downer with this discussion, so I’ll just say that what we say matters to a child. So, let’s use our words to build. What we say can create success stories in children’s lives if we craft our words to “inspire, motivate, encourage, support, inform, educate, and all the good stuff,” as stated in my previous blog post.
We can and must do it! Our children TRUST us, after all. WE are the adults in the relationship. And, they just naturally look to us for guidance and help and care and love, because we’re the BIG people, and we should have their best interest at heart and have our stuff together. Right?
I’ll answer with an emphatic “RIGHT!” to that and then some.
Or else, we really shouldn’t be functioning in roles that directly influence children without getting our stuff together first. (Again, I’m just talking about formal educator roles, here.)
I definitely know that there are individuals who’ve birthed children into the world and weren’t ready to parent and aren’t functioning as a parent who loves or cares for their children. But, I’m not addressing those folks in this blog post. I can’t even begin to get started on that discussion. Too heart-wrenching!
Reeling it back in . . .
As a tutor, I want the children I have the privilege of influencing to know that I’m going to be one of their best advocates — someone in their corner, cheering them on and lifting them up. Letting them know they can do challenging things and to not be afraid to challenge themselves. They will know that I’m there to assist them in their educational growth journeys, but they’ll also know that I have every confidence that they can do the work to bring about the growth results.
The children will also know that I care for them, not just as my tutees but as young humans growing up in this scary world we live in. I know that you can only do so much from a distance (as I’m an online tutor and may never get to be in the physical presence of these children), but they will all know and feel (even virtually) that I care for their whole well-being. After all, they have no choice but to get the “momma” nurturing vibes from me.
Remember: I mother on all levels — my children, other people’s children, and adults. That’s just who I am and what I do. Hint . . . hint . . . I even mother through this blog, believe it or not. Just read a few blog posts, and you’ll see what I mean. I mother! Degrees of Maternity ALL THE WAY, Baby! Hee. Hee.
Look up the word, “maternity” on the dictionary.com website. One of its definitions is “motherhood.” Hence, the reason I named this site, “Degrees of Maternity.” Again, mothering — it’s what I do. And, that’s why I’ve found my perfectly cozy creative and educational space in places where I can work in helping children develop their personal and professional (academic) skills.
Well, I know my focus has been on me, myself, and I in this discussion (sorry about that), but I needed to give you a bit of where I’m coming from to help set up the next blog post, which will end up being a part 3 to this discussion about words mattering to children.
I think I’ll come from a listicle perspective tomorrow (it’ll be a late post) and provide you with some golden nugget observations I’ve made about outcomes received after delivering the right words to my tutees and mentees.
Until then . . .
degreesofmaternity.com 
Phil – I love getting your “5 cents worth.” It’s definitely worth waaaaaayyyy more than that to me. And, I will say that I truly RESPECT you classroom teachers who work and have worked with students in-person. It’s definitely a different instructional set-up than the online version. However, both have their own unique set of challenges and advantages. And although I haven’t worked with children in-person in a classroom setting for formal education, I have had the opportunity (in the past) to teach children in a Biblical classroom setting. At this stage in life, however, I definitely recognize online teaching as being my effective teaching space. And, you are so right. Teaching teenagers takes some special skills sets, for sure. I do work online with middle schoolers. And, I do notice the differences (and similarities) in needs from their younger counterparts. But truly, kudos to you teachers that have dealt with the older children day-in and day-out. You’re a pretty awesome group of people, you know. You come from some tough stuff! Hee. Hee. Oh, and your question about the word “listicle.” I promise I didn’t make it up. It just means a “list.” Specifically, dictionary.com refers to it as “a published article structured in the form of a list, typically having some additional content relating to each item.” Alright Phil, you know what I’m going to say . . . Thanks for making my day. Have a good one.
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Yana,
I liked this post; it is positive and informative—just a short note to give you my 5 cents worth. I agree, it is not necessary to tear children down, as it does not achieve anything positive. However, I think it is essential to provide proper leadership and that, above all, requires respect.
That includes self-respect, respect for nature, respect for all animals, and, more importantly, respect for all other humans, especially children. Respect for others is an essential quality for anyone in a position of authority. They will achieve nothing that lasts without it.
You mention “trust”. That comes with respect. While you may not deal with children in a classroom environment, what you have to say is certainly relevant there. The interaction between teacher and pupil is somewhat more complicated, but the basics still apply. Online interactions seldom involve discipline, and that is another story. By the way, dealing with teenagers on a face-to-face basis requires many additional teaching skills, and they don’t always seem logical.
My dictionary does not have the word “listicle” in it (last sentence). What does it mean, or is it just a typo?
Keep on keeping on!
Regards, Phil
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