Asking for Help and Using Your Resources: A Writing Therapy Intermission

I promise I’ll get back to the writing soon, but I just had to interrupt regular programming with some breaking news (well actually, discussion) on “Asking for Help.” It’s needed. At least, in my world, it seems to be a message that bears repeating until those around me, and including me, really get it.

For some, asking for help may very well be “breaking news.” Because, I’m noticing a trend in individuals passing up their opportunities to utilize their resources to help alleviate pressure, stress, and burden in their lives.

So, here goes the discussion. And, I’m going to kick it off with a question. You know how I do.

Oh, and I want you to answer this question in your mind. Or, you can feel free to talk to the screen of whatever electronic device you’re reading from.

Here’s the question:

“Why is it so difficult to ask for help when you clearly know you need some?”

Now, let me be quite clear here in reiterating the ” . . . when you clearly know you need some” part of the question. Because, needing help is not always so clearly evident to the person in need. Sometimes, it takes someone from the outside to shine the light on when the individual, in question, needs help.

So, if you don’t realize you need help, then you don’t know to ask for it. Right? And, this particular topic of “not recognizing your need for help” might be a spin-off discussion after this one, perhaps. We’ll see. Those who know, know I go with the flow around here. And, the flow may take me elsewhere in my chit-chat sessions with you. So, we’ll see.

But, getting back to my question, as stated . . .

“Why is it so difficult to ask for help when you clearly know you need some?”

And, I absolutely love the fact that you may be answering this question right now as you’re reading this. But since I can’t hear (read) your response until I publish this post, let me throw my top 3 favorite answers out there and just see if any of them land for you.

• I don’t want to bother anyone.
• I don’t want anyone else to know I need help.
• I don’t know who to ask.

There are more responses than the ones I just named, but I threw the ones out there that top my own personal list of reasons for not asking others for help.

Hey, and if you can think of some of your favorites and are willing to share, I would love for you to comment on this blog post and state those for me right here. I want to add them to my list of genuine reasons people don’t ask for help.

I’m always looking to be educated on matters that are important to people in their path to life improvement. And, finding solutions for impediments toward asking for help is part of the prescription that leads to life improvement.

Sooooooo . . .

Let me just say that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it and when you KNOW you need it. Nothing wrong at all.

As a matter of fact, if we were meant to handle everything on our own, then there really wouldn’t be a need for the bedrock of society — the family. And, who needs friends, anyway? And, what’s the point of having a team, when you can handle everything on your own as an individual?

Self-sufficiency to the MAX!

But, that’s not how our society is set up. We’re not little “person” islands all to ourselves with everything we need to live independent of everyone else. And, quite frankly, who would want to live like that anyway?

Human beings weren’t designed to be alone. From the very beginning, we had a desire to exist and interact with others.

SOOOOOOOO?

What’s up with the resistance toward admitting that there are times you can’t handle everything by yourself. Sometimes, you need a hand hold, a leg up, a load off, some intervention, or a complete rescue mission. And, that’s okay.

That’s why it’s incredibly important to surround ourselves with support partners who care about our whole well-being and want to see us in positions where we can be helped in ways that bring health and healing in our lives.

Now, the kind of help you need versus what I need versus what they need will vary. But, whatever help is needed to remove the hindrances to our life improvement MUST be recognized. That’s right. I mean you’ve made it as far as acknowledging the help you need, right?

Well?

Let’s do something about it. First, let’s use the resources that we have in front of us. Namely, the people in our circles of influence. The ones we can depend on. The ones we can trust. The ones that mean the best for us.

And then, let’s reach out to those human resources that may not be the family and friends types, but they are the ones who are functioning with a mission to help those who need their assistance. Whatever that assistance may be.

Oh, by the way, when I say “reach out” and “use the resources,” I mean OPEN YOUR MOUTH and talk to those who you can draw strength from — help from — until you can get over or through what you need to get over or through.

ASK FOR HELP!

“Asking” is an action word. You have to do something about the overwhelm in your life. And, it just may take you overriding the limiting mind games you play when you respond to a need for help by stating I don’t want to bother anyone or I don’t want anyone else to know I need help.

And we might have to address the overwhelm in life by carefully evaluating the people in our lives to identify who the dependable ones are, who the trustworthy ones are, and where the true support systems reside.

Furthermore, we may need to do some research and look up groups, organizations, and mission-driven entities that are for the kind of help we need.

Let me start to wind down this whole discourse by stating that we live beneath our privilege when we don’t use the resources presented to us for our benefit. We have to learn to view ourselves as part of a human ecosystem that relies on one another for certain things in life. And support, where support is needed, is one of those “certain things.”

We’re not weak by admitting we need help and then taking that help, when needed. It shows that we’re human and that we’re just flowing in the constructs of how human beings were created.

In short, seek the help you need and ask for it from those who can truly help you. Then, accept the help when it comes.

Help others help you.